Nesting and Divorce? It is for the birds.
Recently, I have been seeing more “nesting” arrangements popping up in courts and by agreement of the parties. Essentially, the house is the “nest” and the divorcing couple rotates in and out of the house. So for example, week one the Wife is in the marital home and week two, the Husband is in the house. This will allow the children to remain in the house while the parents rotate.
Each time my clients use this arrangement and I am sitting in court while watching other people discuss their nesting arrangement, I only hear that the arrangement is not working.
Here are some of the drawbacks:
- It is a band aid measure, that will not provide a long-term approach;
- One person never complies with the orders and does not leave leaving the other party to have to do a contempt;
- It creates household bills for three homes;
- There is no chance to move on, you get stuck in a rut;
- It causes confusion with the children as to why the parents are not together;
- It is only a temporary solution and could create a 50-50 custody arrangement once the parties have gotten 2 separate households;
- You still have to fight over who cleans up in the house and run a house together
Having been divorced, I feel that the best way to move on is to move on and not just live in purgatory. Do the hard things–move, get a new place, and separate. The earlier this is done the quicker you and your kids can adjust to a “new normal.”